Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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