no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize