glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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