whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I understand Curling. That high.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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