i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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