Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
