I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
