When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
