U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was CRYING into my vagina
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
