i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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