i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
