You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
