walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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