I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
