If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
