did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
