He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
