that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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