It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize