So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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