dude i'm inner monologue high
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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