i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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