Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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