can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
