Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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