All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize