Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
