I cannot find my penis.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
