Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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