im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He better not be in your backpack
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
