Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize