so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
