Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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