OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize