Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize