i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
