if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
