the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
