just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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