Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dignity is for republicans.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
