Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
