Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
