We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
