I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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