): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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