guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
