I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its not stalking. its research.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize