When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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