i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
