...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You smell like stripper and shame
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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