I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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