he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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