I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize