I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
