If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
