She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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