I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize