Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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