I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
