Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize